Okay, okay, I know this little mantra has been used and abused in so many marketing, advertising, spoof posters and any other places possible, but the original war campaign by Winston Churchill still has significant value today.
I'm not talking about contending with a war, but if you evaluate each and every conversation you have with business relationships, or personal ones, this little ditty is something to live by.
Years ago, I was the young punk I now manage. The knows everything, can't believe others don't see it and why won't anyone listen, young punk. My passion for success and delivering results clouded my ability to see past my own world. Everything was urgent, nobody took it seriously enough and I think I believed lives would be lost if only action occurred.
My composure wasn't the greatest, I would be sarcastic and arrogant, all the time assuming that I knew more than others who had been in business for much longer than I.
Over time, training, experience and some hard lessons from true leaders, I realized a great deal about how to work within corporate structures, private businesses and working with leaders, colleagues and direct reports alike.
It's not enough to know things, it's more important to listen, understand and work towards a common goal. Understanding your clients, your management, your partners, family or friends goes beyond what you can sell them, tell them or share and goes far into what makes sense for their personal or professional needs.
We are in a society where more people want to talk at you than listen to you and an ear will go a long way on the road to fostering meaningful and valuable relationships. People who feel heard will want to listen, to ask questions as they will feel invested in, prioritized and appreciated.
I learned this the hard way, but I learned it nonetheless. When finally I felt heard, I realized that I wanted to listen as I felt that appreciation for having the chance to be heard. When you listen, you need to take all judgment and negativity out. We have convinced ourselves that people operate with malice or a self serving agenda. The sooner we change that perspective, the sooner things become more positive and actions happen.
Probably the best lesson I've learned to date is to listen, and to assume that everyone is operating with best intentions. If you start with that lens you'll see that you view things a lot differently and less defensively. It breaks down barriers and you'll move in the right direction.
My fondest leaders are the ones that always made me feel respected, heard and I believed they wanted me to succeed. Funny thing is, they made everyone feel that way.
That's the leader that I have always aspired to be, and want to surround myself with - it's where I see people at their best.
Here's to lending an ear instead of a comment and believing the best without judgment. You'll be surprised at what happens.
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